Words written by Kathryn Dawe….
IF there is one thing that I have learned recently, it’s that we can be so resistant and stubborn in regard to our past….whether that be experiences, mistakes, struggles….even the happiest of times…often times like a little one sitting in a dirty diaper….how many of you know someone that still talks about high school as if it is still happening?….unless it is , of course…. #statingtheobvioushere…. Or repeatedly talk about a traumatic experience or mistake that was years ago? I am not trying to shame anyone here! I’ve done and still do this very thing myself….well…not high school, but traumatic events for sure…. But we can live in those moments, right? They feel real and everything that goes along with them…the video and story line that play and replay over and over again….we are there, as if it were now or just a day or so ago….all of our senses can be hijacked when this happens…and you know what?….your body does not know the difference, and it will act accordingly….giving you a shot of cortisol and maybe even adrenaline…. because it knows the story line and that it needs to prepare for some strong emotional responses to your memory, especially a traumatic or difficult one….now if it’s a happy or euphoric memory and story, your body will give you a rush of dopamine that makes you feel good…. #coolman
BUT….let me be clear here….sitting in anything from the past does you a disservice for as long as it goes on….now, I can tell you from personal experience that this is true….because all of this colors your present, not allowing you to fully or truly experience what your present life is like, or could be, in fact….now, you can be as justified and resistant as you would like to be, but this does not change the fact that you have the power to change your life…you can begin by shedding those worn and tired pieces….I realize that there were some truly hurtful and maybe even terrible things that have happened to you….and some truly delightful things as well….but there is a reason that our feet and eyes point forward….and our hearts as well….I know that my own neck has a crick in it, and my ass is sore from sitting in the crap from the past….and yes, no matter how painful, or how wonderful….altho, my painful stuff definitely outweighs the happy….thus, the “load” that I’ve been carrying…. #onlywayoutisthrough
NOW…you have every right to hoard your stuff….but don’t expect anything, or anyone to change if that’s what you choose….and, like I said, you may be totally justified in your feelings about those things, but how long does this go on? Just how long is long enough, to punish yourself for a mistake or stumble and how long is enough for you to punish someone else….truly, YOU are the one that is on the receiving end of all of that….and I’m sure you’re butt is sore by now….you know, Don Miguel Ruiz states in his book The Four Agreements, that “humans are the only animal on earth that pay a thousand times for the same mistake”….he calls this the definition of “injustice”, and rightly so….how many times, and for how long do we punish ourselves and others for transgressions? And in spite of our tendencies to punish others for their mistakes, we by far, punish ourselves even more….and sadly this is learned behavior…taught to us by our human communities, and family is where this begins, for all of us….because that’s what they were taught, and we oblige them and not only perform this self flagellation, but teach it as well….. #onandonitgoes
With your new sense of awareness here, you may be tempted to beat yourself up further….I have done that very thing when I realize that I taught my daughter these very tactics, to hoard mistakes and sit in our stories of the past….my heart breaks for her and for myself in my blindness of not knowing….but, let’s not add to the load in that diaper, and acknowledge that we know better now, so that we can do better….and what better way to show our children and ourselves this, than to wrap ourselves in our courage and challenge our beliefs and behaviors….and alter our teaching by setting the example of what you would have yourself be without carrying that load from the past…..remove those blinders and wake up to the present and know that you have all of the choices…..and you have the power to change your world and that of others, as well…. #hallelujah
What is a story that you have been telling for years that keeps you reliving the past? How do you let this define who you are? Who would you be if this did not define you, but was only a small part of your story?