Words written by Kathryn Dawe
I’ll be dining alone, thank you….right this way, please…
You know….I truly don’t mind dining alone….I have no trouble walking into the local breakfast joint and sitting belly up to the counter and just enjoying myself and my alone, but not alone-ness….I often will have a conversation with someone beside me, but just as often I’ll chose a table in a corner and do my own thing….I’ll have dinner alone, or happy hour…I’ve never minded sitting at a bar by myself….in spite of the fact that others may see it as sad or Miss Havisham-ish….I’ve got enough of the introvert about me, that I am quite content with spending time with myself…however…. #tableforone
However….when it comes to all of the messiness of untangling and slogging through the effects of the past that have built up a wall high enough to be the Hoover Dam….past traumas, mistakes, regrets, teachings, beliefs etc…..boy do I often “wish” (there’s that blasted term again, make sure to check it out) ….that I could enlist some others to help me to exorcise it all….”be gone!”….but we can no more give that work over to someone else than we can trade them eye colors….the responsibility is ours, and ours alone #welcometothethunderdome …we have all been taught from a very young age, how to make choices….what to take into account and what not to take into account….who to try to please and who not to worry about… what to believe and what not to believe…are we or are we not allowed to choose for ourselves?….and are we taught to choose ourselves? Well my friend, no matter what you have been taught and no matter the condition of your life, everything that you are at this very moment has come from the choices you have made and the beliefs that hold in every moment…..ones that you aren’t even aware of….ones that seem to be caused by someone else, or circumstance or even by accident ….and this was a tough one for me to own…that you have sole responsibility of making your choices, and this means also what you believe, every day, hour and minute even….it is up to you to choose you and how you want your life to be….who is in it, who isn’t in it, who you keep at a distance and who you will seek….. and so on… #choosewisely
You know….I get it….none of us chose the life that we were born into, whether traumatic, privileged, boring, struggling or whatever it may have been for you….these experiences can have deep and lasting influences….they can continue to inform our feelings, our beliefs, and our choices….however, and this one was a tough one for me to fully come to grips with, as adults it is 100% our responsibility to take ownership and come to recognize much of what was done, or what happened early in our lives, or even in our more recent past or present, had direct effect on our ability to make the best choices for ourselves… what choices continue to this very day?…These things that keep you in the same patterns, on the same Merri-go-round….not so Merri most of the time, huh….what do you seek? Or should I say, “Who do you seek?” #timetogetofftheride
Please…seek yourself for sure #whoami…recognize the level of radicle responsibility that it takes to own your life and its contents…..to own your choices and your beliefs, as well….to begin making them intentionally, and even un-making some with the same level of intention….around our beliefs can be a particular area that we often times remain blind….our beliefs can seem so real that they feel like they are part of the very fabric of who we are….but do not let that deceive you….find out what is true and what is not true….there may be people in your life that come along for the ride, and even influence you in some way, but the choices are all yours….the work is yours…it is solitary, it can be solemn, it can be grieving, it can be influential…..and it can be freeing….opening up new lines of creativity, a truer sense of your voice and who you are, and who you’ve been….and who you want to become….so, belly up and order up solo and see what happens…. #checkplease
How will you begin to take full responsibility for creating your life the way that you envision? What is one thing that you can commit to in order to take full responsibility for the work ahead of you? What are some of your beliefs that are not actually true, or representative of who you are now?